5/31 and 6/1
Bryan Adams: 6 (Cause Jess was asleep in the backseat....)
Hot N' Cold: 1
Clarissa Coffee Count: 6
6/1 Creative Curse Word of the Day: Sissy Tickler
Pronunciation: ssss-ehh-sss-eeeee Teh-eh-q-lrrrr
Definition: (1) Momma's Boy (2) Audrey Siple
Antonym: Danielle Borguet
Use: Audrey Siple is a whorebag.
Happy June from Shelby, Montana! [Shelby = soooo much better than Billings...fucking Billings] We decided to celebrate the summery months birth by spending it in 40/50 degree overcast weather at Glacier National Park. It was certainly wondrous and majestic! We drove into the park where the nice Ranger told us only 13 miles of the 50 mile road through the park was actually open since it is still too early in the season and much of the road is unpassable due to snow and ice.....WOO SUMMER! But it didn't matter, St. Mary's glacial lake was beautiful to drive along with the towering mountains rising above it. We took lots of pictures.
The highlight of the day was definitely the TWO MILE hike we did to St. Mary's Falls. Yeah that's right, 2 miles. It was killer. Good thing we have been training for this with all our tough 1/2 mile hikes the past week....otherwise all three of us probably would have collapsed in one of the numerous piles of elk poop in the middle of the trail. Speaking of elk/deer-like animals we saw one!!! No pictures were taken though cause it was being a little bitchface and hiding from us while stuffing its face.
After our longass hike we piled back into the car and drove out of the park to return to Shelby. While on the long winding drive we spotted at lease 10 (probably more, Jess is sure) random, loose dogs running along the road. People in Montana should probably invest in...maybe fences. How do they just let their dogs run loose on the highway? Isn't this Grizzly Bear country too?? If any of them had not looked like they could have been carrying 439 diseases/ticks/doggie stds we probably would have stopped to adopt one to bring on the rest of the trip, for to be friends with Charley.
Also spotted: 10 year old Native American boy riding bareback on a horse down the wrong side of the highway.
Almost spotted: The Canadian Border. FYI - it is closed from 11pm-7am daily, people. Plan your trips to Canada accordingly.
Glad we spotted it: Free cookies in the motel. AND - a town called Butte Heart. hahahaha.
Not spotted soon enough: Charley falling out of Clarissa's backpack on the trail....which caused a minor freakout when we realized he was gone. I guess he just really liked it in the Park and wanted to stay....he must have smelled his ancestors in the Glacial icey waters.
It was a chill day (no weather related pun intended) and we hope to go see the Western side of the park tomorrow on our way to Spokane, Washington!! Now we go to sleep angry that ABC Family lied to us and said it was going to be playing Sahara and/or The Princess Bride tonight but neither is on...so obvi we are watching the History channel instead. But that is mostly because I am in charge of the remote (Balls) since Jess and Clarissa are both halfway passed out in their sicknesses. Which is also probably the reason why this post sucks, because I don't remember anything 20 minutes after it happens....really the only thing I'm worried about is who's bed I should sleep in....sicky or sicky?
hoping Jess does not have swine flu and Clarissa is NOT allergic to Charley,
Balls and Jess and Clarissa
ps - The infomercial for BUMPITS: Hair Volumizing Inserts is one of the funniest things we have ever seen on Television. Peed pants. Watch the video!
http://www.bighappiehair.com/
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