Hello world. We are sending you a very abbreviated version of our normal blogginess from an Arby's in godknowswhere Montana since our hotel somehow did not have internet last night. Since we last posted, we have driven through SD and WY. In SD we stopped and saw the Corn Palace in Mitchell. Weird. But hilarious. Then we stopped at Walldrug, which you should probably Google in any attempt to understand how FUCKING weird that shit was. Moreso than the Corn Phallus OOPS Corn Palace. Weirder. We have decided that everything in the Midwest falls into one of two categories: Nonexistent or weird. We stayed in the Badlands in SD and camped and saw lots of rocks and grass and prairie dogs and did a strenuous half-mile hike to whip us back into shape after traversing half of the US in a blue four-door. Then we drove to Mt Rushmore. THE HEART OF AMERICA AND DEMOCRACY AND FREEDOM. Here we looked at stone faces of presidents past and tried to take the most inappropriate pictures we could doing things to their faces. [Pictures to come when we are not in an Arbys]
Swamp ass... jungle butt(?) very much present as the sun beats down upon us as we ride into the sunset in the heart of Wyoming. WYOMING was beeeaaaauuuutiful. We saw Devil's Tower Natl Monument and some aliens... oh wait that was Clarissa attempting to sing in the backseat. Then we made it through to Billings Montana. FUCKING BILLINGS never go there unless you want to die or at least shit out everything youve eaten since.... Chicago. When you last did it. Pepto Bismal was not effective. Neither was Zorro 2. However it did make for the prettiest puke we have ever seen....PINK! Balls is officially sure she is allergic to artichokes....not even kidding. Wtf? Artichokes????? FUCK.
List of Creative Curse Words: We will leave these ones up to your own interpretation...comment if you think you have a good one! [These ones are pretty amazing]
5/29 - Queef Clot
5/30 - Piss Jammer
5/31 - Dildo Lover
Quotes:
"Why is the speed limit 25? I'm going 60." ~ Balls
Clar: Are you playing emo music because of the Rockies, Balls?
Balls: No...why??
Clar: Are you getting senti??
Balls: No, why would I be senti for the Rockies?
Clar: I dont' know...Coors.
"Butte...FUCK!" - Balls [There is a place named Butte, MT. We are almost there. It is entertaining.]
Smells like poop tally for may 30th - 4
Clarissa Coffee count for friday and saturday: 8
Hot N Cold: 2
Bryan Adams: 2
On our way to Glacier, MT....still.
no more artichokes.....create....poop sandwich....a lot,
Baljesclar
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queef clot is obviously the female equivalent of anus packer... think about it... duh
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