"I ate some bugs, I ate some grass, I use my hands to wipe my...TEARS"

Thursday June 25
Word: Queef Bandit
Definition: (1) Stealthy/sneaky Queefers (2) Audrey Siple

This word picked itself in the back window of our untinted car while it was parked in the Coors Brewery parking lot. Pretty sure Golden, Colorado thinks we are a bunch of Queef Bandits ourselves....oopsies.

Short summary of today: Coors Brewery Tour. Best. Day. EVER. Free tour. Free beers at the end. No food all day + Being 10,000 feet above sea level = Balls and Clarissa is a little bit drunk! Clarissa bought the entire gift shop by mistake (because she was drunk.) Marketing geniuses. Who put the gift shop after the bar with the free beers!?!?!? Fucking queef bandits that's who!! Thanks to Jess for being not 21 and driving our drunk asses across Colorado after.

We would like to hold a blog silence for Michael Jackson who died while we were drunk/drinking in the Coors Brewery.





[End Silence]

Mourning Haiku's by Clarissa and Balls [after Brewery tour]

Michael Jackson DIED,
All the little boys are sad,
He's dead, we were drunk.
~ Clarissa

Man in the Mirror,
You left me here all alone,
Moonwalk by myself.
~ Balls

[end mourning haikus] [begin haikus for our general drunk pleasure]

Charley the mammoth,
handsomest mammoth ever,
hey, hey you. Beer me.
~ ClarissaDUH

Lean, Juicy Bacon,
I want you in my mouth NOW,
You can't hide from me.
~BallsDUH

What else were we supposed to do in the car?? Except listen to NOW 4, 5, 11, and 23???


Now its time to go,
Burlington Inn's beds call us,
Big hug, little kiss.

~ Clarissa and Balls...and Jess asleep cause driving drunk asses all day is tiring.