Fuck, Chuck, or Toe Suck

Bryan Adams: 0
Hot N' Cold: 1
Clarissa Coffee count: 4

Creative Curse Word of the Day: Snot Sniffer Pronunciation: sn-aahhh-t sn-ih-ff-rrrr Definition: When you try to snot rocket but it doesn't work so you have to sniff it back up. Like on cross-country. [Clarissa] [Apparently this happens a lot] Use: Clarissa while running cross country. REAL gross.

Today we drove from Chicago to Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Route 90 West has become our best friend. We stopped in Madison, Wisconsin and drove to the campus of U. Wisc. aka Home of Dreads' and her flick huck. Also home of Midget girl and her low backhand. [Dear Peggy's Sister Erin, go to Wisconsin and get ON THAT TEAM.] There we got Clarclar coffee (obvi) and all of us CHEESE CURDS. They were most delicious and also the most digestively lasting bit of our trip so far. There are five more on the floor right now...If we mail them to you they will probably be fine. Let us know.

We then moved on from the land of Cheese and drove over the Mississippi River into Minnesota, former home of Dr Jill and her 238376599 frisbee boyfriends [some still current???] We decided to stop last minute to get Dairy Queen (big surprise) at Blue Earth, Minnesota, and stumbled across a 50ft high statue of the Big Green Giant (aka the green dude on your frozen vegetables) directly behind the dairy queen. We took some pictures and thought nothing of it until Mamma Balls informed us later that A) It marks the direct middle of route 90 (Boston to Seattle) B) the Blue Earth is the HOME of the ice cream sandwich and C) that this huge thing was in fact 50ft high....haha. Oopsies we found a cool thing by accident. Good thing we are fatties who like dairy queen.

Fatter and happier we continued to drive into South Dakota and stopped at our planned destination, Sioux Falls, South Dakota. We were going to camp but due to laziness and retardedness and simple lack of spine we settled for the Motel 6 on the side of the highway for less than $50 a night. Don't worry, we have locked the door multiple times, although we are pretty sure this is where every horror movie has been filmed ever. We are currently suspicious of the fat man sitting in the parking lot with a leashed wiener dog. Where do they house him at night? There is no zoo........Good thing the wiener dog.....yeah.....there is nothing good about a wiener dog. [Minus Austin's dog]

Quotes of the day:
"I'm peddling with my toe right now." - Jess....apparently able to peddle a car forward using her toe.

Okay not a quote...but....Clarissa called Harry Potter a MAGICIAN to which Balls and Jess got extremely offended and corrected her. Harry Potter is a WIZARD. Magicians are muggles...wizard wannabes. [Clarissa still does not care.]

"Humans have two needs: Sex and Drunk."

"ooohhh ewww. Jess was that you?? Or the street cruncher??" ~ Clarissa [this was after Jess burped. What a street cruncher is exactly is yet to be determined.]

"WHAT THE FUCK!!! FUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKKKK. HOLY FUCK. HOLY CUNT. FUCK. FUCKIN FUCK." ~ Balls after a bird FLEW INTO OUR FUCKING WINDSHIELD.

No, seriously. A dumbass bird in Minnesota does not know how to fly right and is retarded and kamakazi-ed our windshield. dumbass.

Tomorrow we go to the Badlands, SD, then we go to Mt. Rushmore and Wyoming and Southern Montana. Hopefully we can update again sometime soon! If you do not hear from us for the next month then maybe call the authorities. Kthanks.



"CHARLEY HUMP!!!!!!!!!!",
Yakko (Balls), Wakko (Clarissa), and Dot (Jessay)