I just disco stick-ed into my face! Is that bad??

Bryan Adams count: 0 (Clarissa is okay with it only because we have one plus more month to go)
Hot N' Cold: 1
Clarissa Coffee count: 4 1/2

5/21 Creative Curse Word of the Day: Schlong Dumpster
Pronunciation: Shhhh-lownn Duh-mp-st-rrrrr
Definition: (1) Ohio; (2) Western Maryland; (3) a receptacle in which to place ones phallus, jizzy or otherwise.
Use: After almost running over a mattress, a full trash bag, and a beer case, we sighted a dump truck on I-79 North to which Balls exclaimed, "There's that fucking Schlong Dumpster! Stop shitting all over the fucking road!"

Today we drove from Alexandria, VA to Columbus, OH (more specifically Powell, house of Dupont). Audrey and Emily saw us off and Clarissa cried the first tears of our journey after leaving Audrey's arms. She had Charley to comfort her - ie they made out multiple times in the backseat and Clarissa would not stop cooing about him as she talked about Asia.

We were listening to the song "The Way" by Fastball and thinking about how the song relates to The Way of the Frisbee and accidentally missed our first exit...missed the way. Oops. Good start to the trip guys!!! Conversations about attached and unattached dangly earlobes commenced and Jess and Balls decided Jess's were more dangly.

On the horizon of some hill in Pennsylvania we saw a huge boob. Not the usual silo or farm phallus, this was a hulking monster of teat. If a plane flew over it they would call it Pamela Andersonville. Then we soon saw the long awaited sign for a Dairy Queen, where we wanted to go to get fat. Our college educated brains connected these two occurrences to which Balls stated to Jess, "THAT'S where DQ gets their Dairy!" Jess was unenthusiastic until Clarissa proclaimed, "What you've never made ice cream with nipple juice?" (Asia must be a weird but delicious place.)

A competitive game of...that game where you find words with the letters of the alphabet on signs and stuff but in order and IT'S A RACE...was going on. Long story short - the Asian who speaks little English beat Balls and Jess by about 2 hours...at least...It was a race for Z for a long time between the two White Americans, both competitors losing hope at some point. Then of course the first sign for a large city called Zanesville pops up right when Balls is doing the Helen Keller and talking with her hips...and obviously misses the Z. Bitches! She has yet to finish the game and refuses to accept any Z other than a license plate that says 'Zesty'.

Ultimate Nationals tomorrow through Monday in Columbus!!!! DROOL SESH.


Don't get caught driving through a schlong dumpster,
US