Shit we are leaving tomorrow?!?!?

Location: Alexandria, VA
Number of times we listened to Bryan Adams today doing 67934174 errands: 3
Hot N' Cold: 2
Clarissa coffee count: 1 grande Starbucks

So, yesterday while at Barnes and Noble....getting Clarissa coffee after dinner (for to not pass out) we perused the humor section for quite some time. Christy came across one of the hidden treasures of English literature; Creative Cursing: A Mix and Match Profanity Generator [Sarah Royal & Jillian Panarese, Running Press Book Publishers (Philadelphia, 2009)]. A book that not only will increase our cursing vocabulary AND our normal vocabulary, it also has opened up our minds to a world unknown to us - a world full of "dick chunks," "bitch waffles," and "nipple farms." Since this book is possibly the best book ever created we decided to create a calendar curse of the day for every day of our road trip...with one stipulation...the word must be used in a public place everyday by every member of the trip. It will be fun!!!

5/20 - Curse of the Day: Cunt Wrangler.
Pronunciation: [Kuh-nt Rrrrr-angg-luhrr].
Definition: One who organizes, collects, arranges or otherwise dominates those persons of a loose, shady, or vaginal comportment
Use: Clarissa screaming it out of the car window at approximately 50/60 high schoolers from Washington and Lee.

Also purchased at the local Barnes and Noble was the largest book of "Would you Rathers" you will ever see. Example from the book - "Would you rather have your genitalia on top of your head or of the bottom of your left foot?" Needless to say this book will lead to many important, in depth, philosophical conversations throughout the trip. Especially the Midwest.

The last book purchased was, Stuff White People Like by Christian Lander. Within 30 seconds of inspection, to her horror, Clarissa discovered she was 95.8% white. Whiter than Christy, Jess, and even Audrey Siple. "Fuck you coffee, organic food, and outdoor performance clothing!!!" - Clarissa.

Okay, so we didn't spend all day in Barnes and Noble. We also tried to get ready to leave. Like packing important stuff like a can opener, a lantern, half of bottle of Captain Morgan's rum, chapstick, and an Ipod car...thingy. Hopefully, Christy's sleeping bag will dry before we leave and she will pack some clothes...preferably in a bag so she can be sort of clean and not thrown out the window next week for her stench. Hopefully, Clarissa will be able to find her daily coffee(s) everywhere we go, or else...we may never come back from this trip alive. Hopefully, Jess will actually get to Alexandria tomorrow morning. That would suck REAL bad if she didn't.

We're just tryin' to leave tomorrow. Charley the mammoth is the only one ready. Charley update: Clarissa was caught at 8:30 Tuesday morning sewing a button over Charley's trunk. For not to burp. With his trunk and bunghole covered...he is likely to explode. Until then he is the perfect man (to Clarissa). Let us know if you want us to mail part of him to you post explosion.

BYE!